We have had many first in this first five weeks. I should have been blogging about each one individually but that didn’t happen. I have had a lot less time than I ever would have imagined.

We had our first doctor’s appointment. five days  after she was born. We chose Dr. Watts in Granbury, and we have really been happy with her. Our first appointment was five days after she was born. Our first time out of the house and I was very nervous! She cried the whole time and I had my first experience with nursing in public, a little sooner than I was comfortable with but we made it. I had lots of cry moments that I was able to hold back during this appointment. Just walking into the room with Kent and Krosby made me so happy. That our dream of a baby was real and we were all together at her first doctor’s appointment. She actually gained weighed and most babies lose weight.  Then there was her two week appointment, the inevitable, the pricking of the foot. I thought I could handle it. Actually, I knew I could. I made it about half way through her sad piercing cry and felt strongly about it until.. I saw the real tear. Krosby had been a crier since she was born, she still is even after getting relief from her Zantac but I had NEVER seen her cry a real tear. This one tear in the middle of her eye was instant tears for me. She was in pain. I was trying my hardest to hold my tears to a minimum until the nurse pointed it out. She said, “Mom are you okay?” I didn’t answer. I knew Kent heard her. If I tried to answer it would have been a sea of tears we could have rode out of the doctor’s office on. So I continued to ignore her and I was finally able to compose myself.

Then there was our first time to leave Krosby and Kent and I’s first dinner out. Nana (Kent’s mom) offered to watch Krosby so we could go to dinner. I was soo excited. I had been in the house for three weeks at this time, out a couple times but never without baby. I needed a break. Kent and I went to Stumpys and had a great time with each other. Speaking of time with each other, during the last few weeks I have laughed so much with Kent. I am guessing this has to do in part from delirium. Kent and I would go to bed and laugh at each other until we fell asleep. These were moments that I will cherish forever.

Brothers first time  bottle feeding

Upon doctor’s orders, Krosby got her first bottle of breast milk at three weeks in order to help her when I have to go back to work. I had been looking forward to doing this. I really thought…just the thought…of someone being able to feed her besides myself would be a lot of pressure off my back. But now it makes me sad when she feeds from the bottle and I don’t want to give her one if unless necessary. Go figure. One of those weird mom things that I am sure will go away and I will be grateful for the bottle again.

Beginning of the "girl hawk"

Uncle Craig's "first" time holding a newborn not his own.

Soooo here I am now, going on Krosby’s 8 week birthday, looking back at the five week blog I never posted. I am going to try to sum this old 5 week blog up to start with the 8 week blog. 

First Easter

First Bath with Brother's help

Summing up the first five weeks: Incredible love, pain, tears, learning, pooping, crying, exhaustion, more tears, smiling, more pooping, but more than anything the love just keeps coming.

The Dog Days Are Over

So it seems I have proved myself right about being an awful keeper of the blog. I haven’t kept up with it near as much as I would like to but it’s better than nothing. And once again, you will probably get tired of reading the marathon blog where I end up playing catch up for the last two months. 

It really does seem like yesterday that I wrote my last blog…OH NO! I just went back to see when the last entry was and it’s worse than I thought.  It really does seem like yesterday since my last blog of DECEMBER 1! And it really seems like just hours ago that I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, but it wasn’t…it has been a week today! Krosby Fate Barnes (does anyone want to guess how many tears I will shed during this blog, because they are already coming...) was born on April 7, 2011, at 6:39 a.m. She weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces, was 19 inches long, and lots of black hair! She is everything I ever wanted and more. 

For the last few months, I have been watching Birth Stories on TLC and driving Kent crazy with them, or so he says.  Now I have my own birth story and ask myself if watching these shows helped me in any way with my birthing experience. My only thought is NO, they did not. If anything, they made my fate in birthing seem just as scary as it was going to be and made me even more freaked out when I heard those dreadful words: “You will not be getting an epidural.” WHAT!!! All I could think about was the people on the birthing shows who didn’t get an epidural who were in so much pain (as one of my friends described a contraction as like “a wolverine gnawing and gnashing at your abdomen”) and the ones who did get an epidural might as well have been sitting on a patio having a cocktail. I wanted the latter of the two scenarios...bad! 

It all started smoothly and quietly on that Wednesday morning of my due date, April 6. I had contractions from 8 a.m. until 10:45 p.m. that were exactly 7 minutes apart all day long. The good and bad about these contractions was that they never changed. The never got closer together and they never got more intense. So I opted to go to Target and walk instead of work that morning. After Target, I came home and walked.  After Cade got out of school, we walked some more. Cade went to play with the neighbor kids, and Krosby and I walked some more. As I walked, my contractions would increase to three minutes apart. Finally, Kent and I decided we should lie down and try to get some rest, since we didn’t know what the night had in store. At 10:45 p.m., Kent and I laughed about our attempts in getting sleep were probably futile. Not two minutes later, before I even had my night light off, I had my first painful contraction. It was almost like a slap in the face.  My contractions all day had been literally at a pain level of 1 and changed with one single contraction to a pain level of 6.   There was no build up whatsoever.  It was from painless to PAIN.  My plan was to stay at home as long as I could in order to try to be more comfortable, but all it took was about three or four more of those to look at Kent and proclaim that I could not and would not be staying at home, and that we needed to call in the army and head to the hospital. So we did. Sharon came to the house to watch Cade and Adrienne hauled her hiney from Fort Worth to help Kent “handle” me during the event. 

Our FIRST trip to the hospital was a lighthearted event. Kent was smiling and happy each time I was in pain because he was so excited for Krosby to be here. At this time, I had to concentrate to get through my contractions, but I was still laughing and cutting up in between. As we cheerfully walked in the door, the nurse said, “We have been waiting on you since 5:00.” PREFACE: I called the doctor’s office earlier in the day and asked if I could come in to get checked to see where I was headed into the night ahead. They told me I needed to go to the hospital, and I told them I was not. They said they were calling the hospital and they would be expecting me. I told them again that I would not be going yet. I thought the nurse was just kidding with her stern words, but little did I know she wasn’t. Kent, Adrienne, and I went into the room and shut the door. I look at them and laugh in fear, which I do when I don’t know how else to react, and asked them “Is this really going to be the nurse that guides me through one of the most trying times of my life!?!” Good times!! So the Nazi Nurse (what we called her in the beginning) comes in to check me and says I am 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. At my last appointment, a week prior I was 3 cm and 80% effaced. Go figure. Anyhow, she said that my contractions where not regular enough, that they were anywhere from 2 minutes to 6 minutes apart, and that I probably needed to go home until something happened or I might could stay and they would walk me to see if that progressed labor. After an hour of more contractions, she checked me and I had not progressed. The option of staying was not presented to us again. She started taking off the monitors and explaining to me that I could take Tylenol PM to try to slow down/stop the contractions if it was false labor. If it was real labor, then they would not stop.  Also, if I took the Tylenol PM, I might be able to get some sleep. She said if my water happened to break I could come back. Otherwise, she said not to come back until I had contractions that were 2 minutes apart for at least two hours. I couldn’t imagine going home in the pain that I was in, but it looked like I didn’t have much of a choice. I was discharged at 3:00 a.m. This would be the first time that I had to make sure my big girl pants where on…and buckled tight.

First trip to the Hospital Note Smile

Me and my now army of three (my mom drafted, and had made it down from Fort Worth now) went home and set up camp. My contractions were very painful. I laid in bed with Kent holding one hand, Adrienne holding the other, and my mom sitting on the edge of the bed. I took the Tylenol PM. About twenty minutes later, I started puking. Good times!! I was able to shut my eyes for a minute, and if I was lucky, maybe two during the contractions. This time went by fairly fast in hindsight. I am not for sure what time it was, but during one of my contractions I felt, at the time, one of the best feelings I had all night. My water broke!  Then I immediately puked, again. This was such relief because I knew my pain was going to be relieved now that I could go to the hospital and get my epidural. I am not exaggerating when I say that the only thing that was getting me through these contractions from this point on was the fact that an epidural was coming soon.  There are some details that I will leave out, as they do not do anything for the entertainment factor of this blog (and that I will surely not forget, as they will pleasantly haunt me forever), but there are others, like the following, that I want to document. So sorry if it’s too graphic. So when my water broke, I could see what I thought was meconium, which is evidence the baby had a bowel movement in the womb. This is common and not dangerous as long as it is picked up on and precaution is taken. Kent could see I was worried about this and ensured me everything was going to be okay.  The dog day was soon to be over!! So I thought…

Kent called the hospital to tell them we were on our way. He told the Nazi Nurse (that was slowly losing her status) that my water had broke. She asked if I was still leaking, because if I wasn’t it probably wasn’t my water. I am sorry, Nazi Nurse, I wasn’t leaking anymore water.  It all came out while I was puking all over my bedroom. J I then feared that we would get to the hospital and they would tell me my water hadn’t broken and send me home. This was not an option. 

We rush into the hospital for the second time – no cutting up, no making light of the situation, and I didn’t even pretend like I could walk. As I sat in the wheelchair, Kent, with more patience than I have EVER seen him have (as he has also pointed out), re-registers me. Okay, we pre-registered 30 days before delivery and we had already been officially admitted just hours before, for which we had hospital bracelets on to prove. The pain was unbearable and we sat and answered the same questions over again, taking even more time than the last.  When the now not-so-Nazi Nurse checks me, she happily tells me that I am between a 5 and a 6.  My one and only question was:  “Do I have time to get an epidural?”  She said, “Yes, the anesthesiologist can be here in 30-40 minutes.”  Okay, I could get through this. I COULD do this, as long as the relief of an epidural was on its way. My nurse, Carolyn (yes, the used-to-be Nazi Nurse), came in and told me I had to have a bag of fluids before I could get my epidural. What?? There is no way that is happening.  That drip………drip……….drip……..could not possibly drip as fast as it needed to. I was completely fixated on that bag, and it was not a good scene. THEN, she tells me she has to take blood and get lab work back before I can get my epidural. I knew, inside at this time, that I wasn’t getting the epidural.  But I wasn’t going to face the music until I had to. I started pulling up my big girl pants once again. 

The nurse wasn’t in the room much. My army fought through each contraction with me. It didn’t take too many more contractions before I was feeling the infamous “pressure.”  I said it quietly a few times, because I didn’t want to jump the gun as it had only been a matter of about thirty minutes since the nurse told me I was a 5 or 6, that someone needed to get the nurse to check me. I managed to get the point across a little louder and Kent went to get the nurse. In the throes of labor (a term that I completely understand now), Carolyn began to check me. Her face said it all.  I started refusing to accept the truth I already knew. “Well you aren’t going to want to hear this…” Before she could even finish, I am refusing out loud over and over shaking my head back and forth.  No No No! This is not happening! If she could have slapped me in the face, she would have. Carolyn, who I now understood was the rough motherly type that didn’t kiss your boo boos but made sure they were cleaned up, told me I was almost fully dilated and did not have time to get an epidural and I was going to do it, and do it quick. This time, Adrienne and Kent helped me pull up my big girl pants and my mom cinched them tight. 

As I pleaded that I had to push, I was shut down for a good long while it seemed like. That was the hardest part. I had to push, I couldn’t not push. Somehow I did it. Carolyn was called back in the room. She told me I could start pushing if I promised to push just as good for the doctor when she came in. I said yes. So she started on the real pushing with me and working on getting me ready for the doctor. Every push felt like it should be my last and result in my baby girl entering the world, but it didn’t. Seconds later, it seemed like, the baby’s heart rate fell from being in the 140s to around 50. Carolyn was able to stimulate the baby by rubbing her head and got her heart rate back up. Our one O.B. nurse and nurse’s assistant were running around like crazy at this point.  It was very hectic.  She got her heartbeat stable and announced that the baby was not happy and it was time for her to come out. So we continued our synchronized pushing a few more times. Carolyn then informed us with a half-disappointed, half-worried scowl that there was meconium, and a fare bit of it.  I had told her in the beginning that I thought there was, but she said she didn’t think so.  This worried me to no end. We were at the very end and just now figuring this out. Just when I thought we couldn’t get any more serious about pushing, we did. After about 30 min of pushing with the nurse, the doctor came in. It was go time and I couldn’t be more ready to have this over with and my baby in my arms. The first thing I said to the doctor was, “Just pull her out!!” She laughed. Well, of course she laughed.  She was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from the good night’s rest she just awoke from and the Starbucks she had on the way to the hospital. She laughed again and said, “Well, if you can get the head out, I can help you the rest of the way.”  So I did just that and Krosby was born within a few pushes. 

For the craziest, scariest, and most intense five minutes of my entire life, I gave Krosby everything I had and she was born. I promise to give her everything I have from here on out. To my surprise, they were able to put her on my chest. It was everything I could have never imagined. 

I was completely unmedicated, drained, sleep deprived, and on cloud nine. Krobsy was here, after nine short miraculous months of growing in my belly. She was here. Her father and I could not have been happier and more proud. Kent was an amazing coach. There is no way I could sing his praises enough. Hopefully, he knows this and won’t forget how much we need him. However, he could have been a little more competitive. :) 

 

 

Grabbing Daddy's fingers

Kent has continued to be great throughout the last week, telling me how wonderful I am, and what an amazing job I did, and how he didn’t know I was going to make such a perfect baby. These words help more than he knows, especially when my hormones are starting to kick in or kick out…whatever they do. We have been doing really really well. Feeding couldn’t be going better and she has been a great sleeper so far. The last day or so she has been a little reluctant to go to sleep, but it doesn’t last long.

Kent giving Krosby her first bath at home

Cade is a natural at being a big brother. He is transitioning well and, more than anything, probably happy he has gotten to watch TV more often than normal when we are busy with visitors.

I can't leave out that Cade "won the lottery" as he likes to say. Everyone put in there guesses of date of birth and weight for Krosby weeks before her birth and Cade won! To a tee, he was correct on both the date and the birth weight down to the ounce. He is really proud of this and we were amazed. Uncle Craig said he was taking Cade to Vegas!

I have struggled with only a few things this week.I have had a hard time with just the thought of not being able to spend as much time with Cade this week.  I have struggled with the amount of time I have to spend in the bathroom (I will leave out these details). I already have frequent thoughts of Krosby getting older and it makes me sad. I love her innocence. One of our favorite shows, Parenthood, is getting to me more than it usually does, along with other emotional pulls of the heartstrings. I have only felt overwhelmed once, which lead to a crying spell. Oh, and Krosby’s poopy faces and grunts make me incredibly sad. I think I will have to get used to that pretty fast since she is doing it so much! 

The dog days are over! Our sweet baby Krosby is here and the perfect addition to our family.

Happy Anniversary

Today is your Dad and I's 3rd Anniversary. I don’t remember the day I met your father. We were friends long before love crossed our minds, well at least mine. We hung out together through friends fairly often. He seemed like a nice, QUIET guy, with the sweetest smile.  He actually worked right down the road from me for a very long time. I remember him being there for me when I went through some rough times and I the same for him. But still not once did I ever think of what the future might have in store for us all.  This frame of mind would go on for years until one day, as it would work out, we were both single and in different places in our lives. This is the day that everything changed; this is the day I remember meeting your father.

It was the Summer of 2005, (okay let me start this over that sounds so cheesy) We were swimming at our friend Jackie’s house and your dad brought Cade over, just a wee little guy then, to swim.  I had so much fun playing with Cade and your dad. In a matter of hours, I saw something in him that was very special. We laughed and talked a lot. I was supposed to go home that evening and go out with friends. As everyone was ending our pool day, I didn’t want to leave because I was still interested in this person  I saw in a different light.  We lingered around longer than everyone else and hinted around about maybe breaking our plans and staying together a little longer, but of course not in so many words.  We did end up spending more time together that evening and basically every evening thereafter.

I was fresh out of a relationship and was far from looking for anything serious and really wanted to be single for a while. I would definitely advise the same for you if you were ever in the same situation. I had just rented an apartment in downtown Fort Worth and was trying to have reflection time but sometimes you don’t have control over these things. The more I tried not to get involved the more I was.  We both went through some hard times and major adjustments in the beginning but these things all made us closer in such a short period of time. We learned early on not to let the junk that life throws at you get between you.

 Before I knew it, our love had grown, we found ourselves dreaming of getting married and what a happy day that would be and it was the happiest day of my life as of yet.  Shortly after getting married, we started dreaming of you. I want you to know before you even greet us how much I love your father and how much your father loves me. Together I hope we can be a good example and we will give you all the love you need.  I am going to make a slideshow for you and your father so you can see our life before you.

Kent, thank you for a wonderful three years of marriage. I can’t wait to continue this journey with you. I love you. Happy Anniversary.



       Blogging?? Do I really do that? Not really. I am not as consistent as I would like to be but I am trying!!! I think about stopping to write all the time but this time it has been hard to take the time because I knew it was going to be a long one, if I actually sat down to write. I can’t believe it has been six weeks since I have blogged and six more weeks I have been growing this precious baby inside of me. Can I say she’s precious?? I haven’t even written about the gender nonsense that most of you probably already know about by now, but I have to document it. A lot has happened in the last six weeks…some sad things, some firsts, and lots of living! I think I will get the sad out of the way. Man, I have to start breaking up these blogs!!!!

         Growing up in a divorced family, one of the blessings was that I got to spend a lot of time with both my grandmothers and they were able to be amazing influences in my life. One of my grandmothers was 86 and had been in and out of the hospital for the past year or so. She had seemed to be doing sooo much better the day I went to tell her I was pregnant. She had some energy back and she was so excited to hear my news. I left that day thinking about sharing this special time with her and how much we both would enjoy it. That was the last news I was able to share with her. She passed peacefully on October 1, 2010. I was very very sad that my baby would never meet one of the most amazing women I have ever known…and I know a lot of them! I tried to push that thought to the back of my head. Then I realized that these thoughts were selfish. It was grandma’s time to go, she was in a better place…watching all of THIS take place. At the last minute, I wrote something for my cousin to read at the funeral, I am going to attach it. 

       Since the baby and I aren’t the only ones in The Barnes Bunch, I have to keep you updated with what is going on with the coolest seven-year-old around this town, Cade! Cade had a big first in the last few weeks - he went hunting with his dad. We went and practiced shooting the rifle and went over gun safety. Cade did so well, even on his first shot.

On their first trip, I woke up with them early that morning (that won’t happen again) to document the big event. I don’t know who was more excited, Dad or Cade!! They saw a doe and a buck but didn't get it sighted in. There's always next time!

Then there was Halloween. Cade was Chewbacca and a good one I might add. The day before Halloween Cade entered a costume contest.

A little history: Cade went two years ago to my parents’ neighborhood Halloween carnival as Batman. He was five…a shy five. He saw that there was a costume contest and he asked if he could be in it. Kent and I were both shocked as this was totally opposite of something he would normally want to do. He entered it and didn’t win but has constantly talked about it since. We weren’t able to go last year but were able to go this year. He was so excited. We get there and he enters the contest as number 2 in his age group. There was some good competition but we were keeping our fingers crossed. Before it was time for his age group to go up, Darth Vader came up and had a conversation with Chewy. We couldn’t hear the conversation but when Cade came over to us we asked what he said. Chewy said Darth had asked how old he was, and I asked Chewy if he knew why Darth was asking that, he said no. I said because HE IS SCARED YOU ARE GOING TO WIN!!! Darth was in Chewy’s age group, but as the story goes, good prevailed over evil and over 11 other costumes, and Chewy, A.K.A. Cade, won First Place! If the guy hadn’t confused us by announcing Cade’s name as Chade we would have embarrassed Cade with our screams of excitement!

Pumpkin Carving and Ranger Watching with Nana

Pregnancy Stuff

        I am now 19 weeks!!! Almost half way there, I never thought I would be a “this is going so fast” kinda girl, even though I know how time tends to get away from you, but it really has. As everyone says, my sickness passed once I hit the second trimester. During my first trimester, I always said, “Once I felt better I was going to run a marathon”. This was by far a stretch and I have not even ran around the block, but I am very happy to not feel so worthless and be able to do some things. Looking back on the last six weeks, I have very little complaints. I haven’t had heartburn or indigestion, my bowels are still moving along (I have heard this is a major problem), and my cravings have settled. I have random headaches that lurk all day but if that is my only complaint now, I have no complaints! I still have my emotional (very emotional) moments that Kent has learned to laugh at, just as I do.

       Oh, and I am going to the “Big D” and I don’t mean Dallas or Divorce. The biggest change, I would say, even beyond my baby bump, is my normally small lady lumps. I have a love/hate relationship with these things. Of course, I can’t lie. As a member of what my girlfriends and I call The Itty Bitty Titty Committee, it is nice to have a little something there, but it’s a lot to try to learn to deal with and they are pretty darn painful. I have been squeezing these poor babies in my normal bra for a while now and finally had to get a new bra this week. I knew this would happen but wasn’t really expecting it to happen so quickly and so drastically.

       For the fun stuff. At 13 weeks we went for the NT scan. The sonogram brought me to tears again. It is the neatest thing ever. Kent and I sat and watched him do all the measurements and he finally asked the million dollar question, “Do you guys want to know what you’re having?” YES!!! Yes, we do. “Well it’s still early, but it looks like your having yourself a boy”. For Faith: Time stops, I was so sure it was a girl. Not that I wanted a girl over a boy, but I “knew” it was girl. In shock for sure, lost in my own thoughts, I look over at Kent and he is soooo excited. He can’t stop smiling and I can’t stop being confused. I completely got lost in Kent’s moment. I was so happy that he was so happy. It was really awesome to watch. I then asked percentage wise how sure the doctor was, and he said 90 percent. Kent was SOLD!!! I, too, quickly became sold after thinking about having to deal with a little girl’s hair like my own, her attitude, the extra hit girls clothes would take on our budget, and all the boy things I would much rather do over girl things.

Our Baby Girl

       So our friend told us we could come in and she would check at 15 weeks, get a better look and more development. We were able to have Cade at the sonogram with us so that was yet again a really exciting moment. He asked Fara, “Are those her guts??” Fara said, “No but those are,” and quickly moved her magic wand over so Cade could see “my guts.” Fara then asked, “The other doctor said boy right?” Yes, he said boy. She told us she wasn’t going to say until she got the perfect shot and knew. At this point, even after thinking it was a girl so strongly, I had no doubts that it was a boy now. “Guys, I really hate to do this to you but…I SEE ALL GIRL.” For Faith: I really didn’t believe it at all! I had convinced myself over the last two weeks that it was a boy and that a boy is what was perfect for our family. All I could do was laugh. I didn’t know what to think or feel. It would get quiet and I would just keep on laughing in disbelief. Watching Kent wasn’t as fun this time as it was the last time, it made me really sad. He was so confused, and like I was when they told us it was a boy, in complete shock. We both left not really knowing what to think. This was going to take a long while to sink in. 

       Now we have had an 18 week sonogram confirming that it is indeed a girl, and we are BOTH so excited. Fara even printed out one more picture of the evidence for Kent just in case he was still having issues accepting the fact. At the last doctor appointment Baby and Momma are doing well and healthy. She is now seven ounces in weight and around eight inches long. OHHHH…I almost forgot the best part. I have been feeling her move. I have been waiting for this for a long while and can’t wait for more consistent movement. I felt a few flutters around 16 weeks but this week, I have felt movement from the outside of my belly and Kent got to feel her too!! I could lay waiting for one quick jab for hours. Here is a belly pic at 16 weeks, (2 weeks ago) one of the many times I was going to sit down and blog.

I will add a current one really soon!!

Baby on Board STILL!

I have made it to twelve weeks...yay!!!! We had a very simple doctor’s appointment last week where we heard the heartbeat to confirm that our little guy/girl is hanging in there. I was secretly hoping that they wouldn’t find the heartbeat easily so I would get to have another sonogram but fortunately she found the heartbeat (in the 160’s) with ease.

However, I lucked out and am really excited that I got my NT Scan scheduled for next Thursday and the BEST part about it is that my insurance has come through for once in my life and is going to cover something! We wouldn’t have been able to afford the scan without insurance coverage. The appointment involves a sonogram to check a couple points that could be indicators of downs and some blood work. Some people have gotten lucky and actually found out or got a pretty good guess at what the sex was during these scans. I am sure hoping this is the case with us!!!!!

I have been feeling tired and queasy and just down right LAZY.  All I want to do is lay on the couch and that really isn’t like me. We are usually outside gardening, riding bikes, playing baseball, etc. This has not been the case for the last four weeks or so. I feel so bad but Kent and Cade have both been great about picking up the slack for me. My queasiness is getting better so hopefully my fatigue is out the door with it. I have had some pretty hefty cravings. It’s amazing how strongly you feel like you have to have that one particular food item or all will NOT be well. I have been lucky enough to always get my cravings fulfilled so that hasn’t been bad.Thanks Kent!

My biggest complaint so far about pregnancy is my change in napping. If you know me at all, you know I love to nap.  Now, I can completely relate to all the “non nappers” out there. After I nap, I feel completely out of it. I feel like I never even slept. It takes me a good thirty minutes to come out of the awful fog that naps now leave me with. I hope this changes soon. I adore naps and would like to keep it that way.

Emotionally, I have been doing pretty well (Kent might say otherwise) and I will quickly knock on some wood. I have only had a few moments of weird emotional/semi-psychotic breakdowns.

One of them being when Kent walked in on me watching a show about this girl with Progeria, a type of disorder where children age quickly and are very small. They had just been discussing the fact that the daughter couldn’t get into the water because she couldn’t regulate her body temperature. As I started contemplating this sad situation, tears began to well up in my eyes. I think that would have been the end of it until I hear Kent coming up the stairs. “On no! Don’t cry! It’s okay,” I say to myself over and over. Kent reaches the top of the stairs looks at the TV looks at me, looks at the TV, looks at me. Before he can even ask me, “Why are you watching this?” Because I knew that was going to be his next words, I start blubbering, “She can’t eveennnnn gooooo swimminnnnggggg.” Then by the look on his face, I can tell he is already thinking I have lost it. So what does any person who has really lost it do…start laughing hysterically in the middle of crying hysterically. Now, I really have his wheels churning. 

At lunch the other day I saw a random act of kindness and it made me cry. It was just a man giving a homeless man some tacos and a Gatorade but they talked and laughed and smiled until the light changed. The interaction was simple, genuine, and changed the day of at least three people. My next thought as I saw him walk away to find some shade under the bridge was that this homeless man was someone's little boy.   This made me cry the most. On a lighter note, there was this time...at the Barnes household... I kinda had a tantrum over a salad from CiCi's but those details are blurry. ;)

I have lost three pounds since I went to the doctor the first time and about 8 pounds since I first found out. That should be changing too. However, even with the weight loss, I have managed to start showing a little. The evidence makes me extremely happy!

Unmistakable Sign of Pregnancy

Soo my whole way home from work (an hour) I am thinking of chicken express and how good it's going to be and how BAD I wanted it. The crunchy chicken covered in gravy sprinkled with serendipity..the jalapeno poppers melting in my mouth. I order, pay, and turn in the line to get to the pick up window and the unthinkable happened. 

I see the Taco Bueno sign. No No No!! Bueno Chilada Platter, Bueno Chilada Platter, over and over dancing around in my head. I no longer have any desire for chicken but a BURNING need for Bueno! I tried to talk myself out of it...and I couldn't! So now I have a lot of chicken and not so much bueno :)Hope the boys are happy with chicken for the next couple days.

Oh, and Scott, I promise that I didn't buy you a birthday cake just so I could have a piece...okay maybe my sweet tooth had a small influence but  I did want to make sure you had a cake on your birthday!Happy Birthday Scottie!

Soooo we arent exactly a bunch....but

We are growing strong and proud to announce a new addition to our family scheduled to make an appearance around April 6th of next year. It has been a month now since we first found out. Below is a little blurb I wrote on the day we found out the best news of our lives together.

After almost two years of playing this day out in my head, I no longer have to wonder what it will feel like, what my reaction will be, what others reactions will be, or for that matter if it will even happen. It is here, it is now, and I couldn’t be more excited. Even though I am not letting myself get too excited. After, waiting for something month after month for 18 months, it’s hard not to! Today, July 27, 2010, I tested positive on three home pregnancy tests. I can almost scream to the hill tops…WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!! No matter how positive the test have been, I am still having a hard time letting my head wrap around this concept. I am in shock and slowly letting it sink in.

That same day, July 27, 2010, I came home with a positive pregnacy test and showed it to Kent. He stared at it as I did and asked if it was real. :)) I was so glad to be able to tell him, "Ummm, I think so...I sure hope so!! It's as real as it's never been before!" He then said, "I assume you have taken more than one?", which I had. So the journey began.

Shortly, after we found out we couldn't help but tell our parents and closest friends. We knew then, as we know now, we aren't totally in the clear but we couldn't wait. I was so excited to tell my parents that they were finally going to be grandparents! I gave my dad a copy of Jack and the Beanstalk as this was one of my favorite books he read to me and I gave Glenda a baby shoe charm from James Avery. Before I even could get the book out of my hand to give to my dad I started crying. I thought maybe by the look in his eyes that he somehow already knew what I was about to tell him. However, he just thought I was being emotional over the memories of our times reading together. Kent gave Glenda the charm and immediately we knew she got the message by her reaction. I am not for sure when dad picked up on it but we were all so excited to share such a great moment. I gave my mom a grandmother angel and in return she gave me a look of disgust as if to say, "How dare you say I am a Grandma??" Then she realized the truth of the matter...she was going to be a grandma! Kent told his mom by asking if she was going to be able to make one of her infamous afghans by April...she replied, "Next April???,  I think I could manage that." One glance at Kent and myself and she shortly realized this blanket we were asking about was going to be for her fourth grandchild.

Five days after we found out, we had a trip planned with my family to New Braunfels. Doesn't floating down the river in 105 degree heat in freezing cold water sound like fun when you're expecting?? I wouldn't have missed it for the world! Cade was looking forward to it so much and Kent and I were ready for a much needed break. Of course, I wanted to share the news with my family but it had just been five days! We had a blast and I want all the fam to know I wanted to tell you more than anything and talk baby talk the whole time but  I was scared!!! I thought I had made it through the week without anyone suspecting anything, come to find out the last day everyone wasn't only suspecting... they were convinced that I was pregnant!

Now there was one more VERY important delivery we had to make. One we wanted to be the most careful with but by far one of the most exciting...CADE!!! I got on amazon weeks ago and picked out a couple of books for big brothers. Kent and I both wrote a special message in the book for Cade. The first time...actually make that the first three times he read, "We are having a baby!!" it didn't quite sink in. He would look up at us and say it as if he was reading the lamest book from kindergarten. Finally, it sunk in, and we have talked about it non stop. We are so excited to finally get to share these moments with him and begin our memories as a bunch!

A month has passed. I wake everyday with a smile on my face thinking about the life growing inside me that myself and Kent have been so blessed to be a part of already. It has sunk in, little by little, day by day, and now each time I hear the rhythm of the tiny heart beating inside me, I know this will be music to my ears for years to come.

For those of you who supported us through the last couple years, I thank you all dearly and we couldn't have made it without you. I can't wait to share this journey with all of you.