Happy Anniversary

Today is your Dad and I's 3rd Anniversary. I don’t remember the day I met your father. We were friends long before love crossed our minds, well at least mine. We hung out together through friends fairly often. He seemed like a nice, QUIET guy, with the sweetest smile.  He actually worked right down the road from me for a very long time. I remember him being there for me when I went through some rough times and I the same for him. But still not once did I ever think of what the future might have in store for us all.  This frame of mind would go on for years until one day, as it would work out, we were both single and in different places in our lives. This is the day that everything changed; this is the day I remember meeting your father.

It was the Summer of 2005, (okay let me start this over that sounds so cheesy) We were swimming at our friend Jackie’s house and your dad brought Cade over, just a wee little guy then, to swim.  I had so much fun playing with Cade and your dad. In a matter of hours, I saw something in him that was very special. We laughed and talked a lot. I was supposed to go home that evening and go out with friends. As everyone was ending our pool day, I didn’t want to leave because I was still interested in this person  I saw in a different light.  We lingered around longer than everyone else and hinted around about maybe breaking our plans and staying together a little longer, but of course not in so many words.  We did end up spending more time together that evening and basically every evening thereafter.

I was fresh out of a relationship and was far from looking for anything serious and really wanted to be single for a while. I would definitely advise the same for you if you were ever in the same situation. I had just rented an apartment in downtown Fort Worth and was trying to have reflection time but sometimes you don’t have control over these things. The more I tried not to get involved the more I was.  We both went through some hard times and major adjustments in the beginning but these things all made us closer in such a short period of time. We learned early on not to let the junk that life throws at you get between you.

 Before I knew it, our love had grown, we found ourselves dreaming of getting married and what a happy day that would be and it was the happiest day of my life as of yet.  Shortly after getting married, we started dreaming of you. I want you to know before you even greet us how much I love your father and how much your father loves me. Together I hope we can be a good example and we will give you all the love you need.  I am going to make a slideshow for you and your father so you can see our life before you.

Kent, thank you for a wonderful three years of marriage. I can’t wait to continue this journey with you. I love you. Happy Anniversary.



       Blogging?? Do I really do that? Not really. I am not as consistent as I would like to be but I am trying!!! I think about stopping to write all the time but this time it has been hard to take the time because I knew it was going to be a long one, if I actually sat down to write. I can’t believe it has been six weeks since I have blogged and six more weeks I have been growing this precious baby inside of me. Can I say she’s precious?? I haven’t even written about the gender nonsense that most of you probably already know about by now, but I have to document it. A lot has happened in the last six weeks…some sad things, some firsts, and lots of living! I think I will get the sad out of the way. Man, I have to start breaking up these blogs!!!!

         Growing up in a divorced family, one of the blessings was that I got to spend a lot of time with both my grandmothers and they were able to be amazing influences in my life. One of my grandmothers was 86 and had been in and out of the hospital for the past year or so. She had seemed to be doing sooo much better the day I went to tell her I was pregnant. She had some energy back and she was so excited to hear my news. I left that day thinking about sharing this special time with her and how much we both would enjoy it. That was the last news I was able to share with her. She passed peacefully on October 1, 2010. I was very very sad that my baby would never meet one of the most amazing women I have ever known…and I know a lot of them! I tried to push that thought to the back of my head. Then I realized that these thoughts were selfish. It was grandma’s time to go, she was in a better place…watching all of THIS take place. At the last minute, I wrote something for my cousin to read at the funeral, I am going to attach it. 

       Since the baby and I aren’t the only ones in The Barnes Bunch, I have to keep you updated with what is going on with the coolest seven-year-old around this town, Cade! Cade had a big first in the last few weeks - he went hunting with his dad. We went and practiced shooting the rifle and went over gun safety. Cade did so well, even on his first shot.

On their first trip, I woke up with them early that morning (that won’t happen again) to document the big event. I don’t know who was more excited, Dad or Cade!! They saw a doe and a buck but didn't get it sighted in. There's always next time!

Then there was Halloween. Cade was Chewbacca and a good one I might add. The day before Halloween Cade entered a costume contest.

A little history: Cade went two years ago to my parents’ neighborhood Halloween carnival as Batman. He was five…a shy five. He saw that there was a costume contest and he asked if he could be in it. Kent and I were both shocked as this was totally opposite of something he would normally want to do. He entered it and didn’t win but has constantly talked about it since. We weren’t able to go last year but were able to go this year. He was so excited. We get there and he enters the contest as number 2 in his age group. There was some good competition but we were keeping our fingers crossed. Before it was time for his age group to go up, Darth Vader came up and had a conversation with Chewy. We couldn’t hear the conversation but when Cade came over to us we asked what he said. Chewy said Darth had asked how old he was, and I asked Chewy if he knew why Darth was asking that, he said no. I said because HE IS SCARED YOU ARE GOING TO WIN!!! Darth was in Chewy’s age group, but as the story goes, good prevailed over evil and over 11 other costumes, and Chewy, A.K.A. Cade, won First Place! If the guy hadn’t confused us by announcing Cade’s name as Chade we would have embarrassed Cade with our screams of excitement!

Pumpkin Carving and Ranger Watching with Nana

Pregnancy Stuff

        I am now 19 weeks!!! Almost half way there, I never thought I would be a “this is going so fast” kinda girl, even though I know how time tends to get away from you, but it really has. As everyone says, my sickness passed once I hit the second trimester. During my first trimester, I always said, “Once I felt better I was going to run a marathon”. This was by far a stretch and I have not even ran around the block, but I am very happy to not feel so worthless and be able to do some things. Looking back on the last six weeks, I have very little complaints. I haven’t had heartburn or indigestion, my bowels are still moving along (I have heard this is a major problem), and my cravings have settled. I have random headaches that lurk all day but if that is my only complaint now, I have no complaints! I still have my emotional (very emotional) moments that Kent has learned to laugh at, just as I do.

       Oh, and I am going to the “Big D” and I don’t mean Dallas or Divorce. The biggest change, I would say, even beyond my baby bump, is my normally small lady lumps. I have a love/hate relationship with these things. Of course, I can’t lie. As a member of what my girlfriends and I call The Itty Bitty Titty Committee, it is nice to have a little something there, but it’s a lot to try to learn to deal with and they are pretty darn painful. I have been squeezing these poor babies in my normal bra for a while now and finally had to get a new bra this week. I knew this would happen but wasn’t really expecting it to happen so quickly and so drastically.

       For the fun stuff. At 13 weeks we went for the NT scan. The sonogram brought me to tears again. It is the neatest thing ever. Kent and I sat and watched him do all the measurements and he finally asked the million dollar question, “Do you guys want to know what you’re having?” YES!!! Yes, we do. “Well it’s still early, but it looks like your having yourself a boy”. For Faith: Time stops, I was so sure it was a girl. Not that I wanted a girl over a boy, but I “knew” it was girl. In shock for sure, lost in my own thoughts, I look over at Kent and he is soooo excited. He can’t stop smiling and I can’t stop being confused. I completely got lost in Kent’s moment. I was so happy that he was so happy. It was really awesome to watch. I then asked percentage wise how sure the doctor was, and he said 90 percent. Kent was SOLD!!! I, too, quickly became sold after thinking about having to deal with a little girl’s hair like my own, her attitude, the extra hit girls clothes would take on our budget, and all the boy things I would much rather do over girl things.

Our Baby Girl

       So our friend told us we could come in and she would check at 15 weeks, get a better look and more development. We were able to have Cade at the sonogram with us so that was yet again a really exciting moment. He asked Fara, “Are those her guts??” Fara said, “No but those are,” and quickly moved her magic wand over so Cade could see “my guts.” Fara then asked, “The other doctor said boy right?” Yes, he said boy. She told us she wasn’t going to say until she got the perfect shot and knew. At this point, even after thinking it was a girl so strongly, I had no doubts that it was a boy now. “Guys, I really hate to do this to you but…I SEE ALL GIRL.” For Faith: I really didn’t believe it at all! I had convinced myself over the last two weeks that it was a boy and that a boy is what was perfect for our family. All I could do was laugh. I didn’t know what to think or feel. It would get quiet and I would just keep on laughing in disbelief. Watching Kent wasn’t as fun this time as it was the last time, it made me really sad. He was so confused, and like I was when they told us it was a boy, in complete shock. We both left not really knowing what to think. This was going to take a long while to sink in. 

       Now we have had an 18 week sonogram confirming that it is indeed a girl, and we are BOTH so excited. Fara even printed out one more picture of the evidence for Kent just in case he was still having issues accepting the fact. At the last doctor appointment Baby and Momma are doing well and healthy. She is now seven ounces in weight and around eight inches long. OHHHH…I almost forgot the best part. I have been feeling her move. I have been waiting for this for a long while and can’t wait for more consistent movement. I felt a few flutters around 16 weeks but this week, I have felt movement from the outside of my belly and Kent got to feel her too!! I could lay waiting for one quick jab for hours. Here is a belly pic at 16 weeks, (2 weeks ago) one of the many times I was going to sit down and blog.

I will add a current one really soon!!

Baby on Board STILL!

I have made it to twelve weeks...yay!!!! We had a very simple doctor’s appointment last week where we heard the heartbeat to confirm that our little guy/girl is hanging in there. I was secretly hoping that they wouldn’t find the heartbeat easily so I would get to have another sonogram but fortunately she found the heartbeat (in the 160’s) with ease.

However, I lucked out and am really excited that I got my NT Scan scheduled for next Thursday and the BEST part about it is that my insurance has come through for once in my life and is going to cover something! We wouldn’t have been able to afford the scan without insurance coverage. The appointment involves a sonogram to check a couple points that could be indicators of downs and some blood work. Some people have gotten lucky and actually found out or got a pretty good guess at what the sex was during these scans. I am sure hoping this is the case with us!!!!!

I have been feeling tired and queasy and just down right LAZY.  All I want to do is lay on the couch and that really isn’t like me. We are usually outside gardening, riding bikes, playing baseball, etc. This has not been the case for the last four weeks or so. I feel so bad but Kent and Cade have both been great about picking up the slack for me. My queasiness is getting better so hopefully my fatigue is out the door with it. I have had some pretty hefty cravings. It’s amazing how strongly you feel like you have to have that one particular food item or all will NOT be well. I have been lucky enough to always get my cravings fulfilled so that hasn’t been bad.Thanks Kent!

My biggest complaint so far about pregnancy is my change in napping. If you know me at all, you know I love to nap.  Now, I can completely relate to all the “non nappers” out there. After I nap, I feel completely out of it. I feel like I never even slept. It takes me a good thirty minutes to come out of the awful fog that naps now leave me with. I hope this changes soon. I adore naps and would like to keep it that way.

Emotionally, I have been doing pretty well (Kent might say otherwise) and I will quickly knock on some wood. I have only had a few moments of weird emotional/semi-psychotic breakdowns.

One of them being when Kent walked in on me watching a show about this girl with Progeria, a type of disorder where children age quickly and are very small. They had just been discussing the fact that the daughter couldn’t get into the water because she couldn’t regulate her body temperature. As I started contemplating this sad situation, tears began to well up in my eyes. I think that would have been the end of it until I hear Kent coming up the stairs. “On no! Don’t cry! It’s okay,” I say to myself over and over. Kent reaches the top of the stairs looks at the TV looks at me, looks at the TV, looks at me. Before he can even ask me, “Why are you watching this?” Because I knew that was going to be his next words, I start blubbering, “She can’t eveennnnn gooooo swimminnnnggggg.” Then by the look on his face, I can tell he is already thinking I have lost it. So what does any person who has really lost it do…start laughing hysterically in the middle of crying hysterically. Now, I really have his wheels churning. 

At lunch the other day I saw a random act of kindness and it made me cry. It was just a man giving a homeless man some tacos and a Gatorade but they talked and laughed and smiled until the light changed. The interaction was simple, genuine, and changed the day of at least three people. My next thought as I saw him walk away to find some shade under the bridge was that this homeless man was someone's little boy.   This made me cry the most. On a lighter note, there was this time...at the Barnes household... I kinda had a tantrum over a salad from CiCi's but those details are blurry. ;)

I have lost three pounds since I went to the doctor the first time and about 8 pounds since I first found out. That should be changing too. However, even with the weight loss, I have managed to start showing a little. The evidence makes me extremely happy!

Unmistakable Sign of Pregnancy

Soo my whole way home from work (an hour) I am thinking of chicken express and how good it's going to be and how BAD I wanted it. The crunchy chicken covered in gravy sprinkled with serendipity..the jalapeno poppers melting in my mouth. I order, pay, and turn in the line to get to the pick up window and the unthinkable happened. 

I see the Taco Bueno sign. No No No!! Bueno Chilada Platter, Bueno Chilada Platter, over and over dancing around in my head. I no longer have any desire for chicken but a BURNING need for Bueno! I tried to talk myself out of it...and I couldn't! So now I have a lot of chicken and not so much bueno :)Hope the boys are happy with chicken for the next couple days.

Oh, and Scott, I promise that I didn't buy you a birthday cake just so I could have a piece...okay maybe my sweet tooth had a small influence but  I did want to make sure you had a cake on your birthday!Happy Birthday Scottie!

Soooo we arent exactly a bunch....but

We are growing strong and proud to announce a new addition to our family scheduled to make an appearance around April 6th of next year. It has been a month now since we first found out. Below is a little blurb I wrote on the day we found out the best news of our lives together.

After almost two years of playing this day out in my head, I no longer have to wonder what it will feel like, what my reaction will be, what others reactions will be, or for that matter if it will even happen. It is here, it is now, and I couldn’t be more excited. Even though I am not letting myself get too excited. After, waiting for something month after month for 18 months, it’s hard not to! Today, July 27, 2010, I tested positive on three home pregnancy tests. I can almost scream to the hill tops…WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!! No matter how positive the test have been, I am still having a hard time letting my head wrap around this concept. I am in shock and slowly letting it sink in.

That same day, July 27, 2010, I came home with a positive pregnacy test and showed it to Kent. He stared at it as I did and asked if it was real. :)) I was so glad to be able to tell him, "Ummm, I think so...I sure hope so!! It's as real as it's never been before!" He then said, "I assume you have taken more than one?", which I had. So the journey began.

Shortly, after we found out we couldn't help but tell our parents and closest friends. We knew then, as we know now, we aren't totally in the clear but we couldn't wait. I was so excited to tell my parents that they were finally going to be grandparents! I gave my dad a copy of Jack and the Beanstalk as this was one of my favorite books he read to me and I gave Glenda a baby shoe charm from James Avery. Before I even could get the book out of my hand to give to my dad I started crying. I thought maybe by the look in his eyes that he somehow already knew what I was about to tell him. However, he just thought I was being emotional over the memories of our times reading together. Kent gave Glenda the charm and immediately we knew she got the message by her reaction. I am not for sure when dad picked up on it but we were all so excited to share such a great moment. I gave my mom a grandmother angel and in return she gave me a look of disgust as if to say, "How dare you say I am a Grandma??" Then she realized the truth of the matter...she was going to be a grandma! Kent told his mom by asking if she was going to be able to make one of her infamous afghans by April...she replied, "Next April???,  I think I could manage that." One glance at Kent and myself and she shortly realized this blanket we were asking about was going to be for her fourth grandchild.

Five days after we found out, we had a trip planned with my family to New Braunfels. Doesn't floating down the river in 105 degree heat in freezing cold water sound like fun when you're expecting?? I wouldn't have missed it for the world! Cade was looking forward to it so much and Kent and I were ready for a much needed break. Of course, I wanted to share the news with my family but it had just been five days! We had a blast and I want all the fam to know I wanted to tell you more than anything and talk baby talk the whole time but  I was scared!!! I thought I had made it through the week without anyone suspecting anything, come to find out the last day everyone wasn't only suspecting... they were convinced that I was pregnant!

Now there was one more VERY important delivery we had to make. One we wanted to be the most careful with but by far one of the most exciting...CADE!!! I got on amazon weeks ago and picked out a couple of books for big brothers. Kent and I both wrote a special message in the book for Cade. The first time...actually make that the first three times he read, "We are having a baby!!" it didn't quite sink in. He would look up at us and say it as if he was reading the lamest book from kindergarten. Finally, it sunk in, and we have talked about it non stop. We are so excited to finally get to share these moments with him and begin our memories as a bunch!

A month has passed. I wake everyday with a smile on my face thinking about the life growing inside me that myself and Kent have been so blessed to be a part of already. It has sunk in, little by little, day by day, and now each time I hear the rhythm of the tiny heart beating inside me, I know this will be music to my ears for years to come.

For those of you who supported us through the last couple years, I thank you all dearly and we couldn't have made it without you. I can't wait to share this journey with all of you.